HIDDEN POVERTY

 

We chat to the local owner of the cafe we have visited for at least five years and get the latest news. On our way to work by train we strike up a conversation with someone who we see regularly waiting on the platform and get to know some of their life story. At work we catch up with colleagues about any developments around the coffee machine. Later, we bump into some friends on a street corner and get talking about what they have been doing. But how much do we really know about these people and the lives they lead? Even more so since Covid, the number of those facing real hardship has increased. This does not just include financial poverty, but also emotional fatigue and mental separation. It is uncomfortable to ask the question, but are the people we care about and interact with really OK and, if not, what can we do? How many of us honestly consider reaching out but then pull back as we already have too many responsibilities and pressing things to do?

The more you interact with others in everyday life, the more you start to get a feeling of what is really going on at the moment. There is an ever-increasing divide between the wealthy 'haves' and poorer 'have nots'. The Covid pandemic has seen a sharp increase in people relying on food banks and needing additional help in paying for the most basic living costs. After some pretty hard-hitting conversations with friends and colleagues, it is clear to me that appearances, which are so comfortable and easily accepted in an image-driven society, can be extremely deceptive. One person told me of how they were hand-washing then blow-drying their clothes and bedding as they didn't have enough money to buy essential items and were living on a budget of the equivalent of twenty pounds a week for food. They would shine their shoes, present themselves well and their financial difficulties were never evident. People complimented the person on their appearance and would never have imagined the gravity of what was happening behind closed doors. This was only one of many such conversations. So why did no one see the warning signs or want to dig deeper?

This lack of things goes so much deeper than just financially. Others are consuming much more as a way of filling an emotional or spiritual void. This is increasingly common where so many consumable goods and forms of entertainment are so easily and instantly obtainable. Consequently, the harder-won, more rewarding parts of life that really matter are being pushed aside in the rush to obtain more and be more.

Another ill effect of this is the alarming and increasing number of teenage gangs roaming the streets looking for a fight or something more in an attempt to "have some fun". Also the level of domestic violence and family conflict has rapidly shot up. Tolerance levels are significantly lower and physical violence and mental taunting seem to have become a way to gain what is desired. What is happening to cause this dangerous shift in how we approach life?

So much of our modern, day-to-day lives are spent running around, being busy without really processing what we have done and this can also affect our mental health. Our brains are continually bombarded with noise and information. We have the option to constantly change what we are watching … a TedTalk, a language video, music, television, the latest news … the list is endless. So when it comes to focusing on one thing and watching it through to the end, or reading a whole book, many of us now struggle. For young people, the focus is significantly on technology, tablets, smartphones during the day, then television, Netflix, Disney Plus or Amazon Prime can easily take up a substantial part of the evening, Even first thing in the morning, or last thing at night, we often reach for our phones and, before there is a chance to reflect on what has happened or will happen that day, our minds are distracted.

The more pressing issue is what all of this excess is covering up. If we couldn't use our phones or the internet, or watch television for a few weeks, what would we be forced to face? How many people struggling in difficulty have we passed this week whilst being distracted by the trappings of modern life? When will we take responsibility for the emptiness and do something about it for ourselves, and then help others who we have overlooked because of our own busy lives and our concern primarily with our own 'bubbles' (such a popular word with the current way of living with Covid)? Taking the time to confront these questions is an uncomfortable task and few make time for it or even see there is a problem, which should in itself start to send some alarm bells ringing.

So, you ask, how should we react to this when things are already as frenetic and tough as they are? Whilst I am sitting writing this in a local cafe, as if on cue, another customer bustles in and asks for "a coffee immediately - I'm in a hurry" - When are we not? There is a conscious choice that we can make; we can choose to think about these things, to be aware of them and even with five minutes a day, we can actively work through something. A text message sent to a friend who responded strangely as you passed them in the street, offering to get a few bits at the supermarket or keep company an elderly neighbour who doesn't seem to be eating much, an extra chat with your son or daughter who is concerned about something they saw on YouTube that worried them. If we are willing to start with small steps, the knock-on effect will quickly become dramatic. As Denzel Washington said in his soul piercing motivational speech at a university graduation "you will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse". You have the privilege of living this life, so why not give it everything you've got whilst you are truly alive and support and encourage those around you to get the most out of theirs too.