FIGHT OR THRIVE

 

Nowadays it’s all or nothing. The idea of hard graft and gradual success makes us shiver at the thought. Yet real, tough graft with lasting effects is just that and it’s so easy to shun away from this for immediate, short-term gratification. If you want to do something well, and I mean really well, excellent maybe, it’s not just something that your grandparents did and never again because you want it all now, it’s something that is very real and even more so with all the quick fixes that are available.

I am all for learning a language efficiently or getting on with a project, not procrastinating, but I think hard work shouldn’t be seen as a negative. If you want something you need to keep going at a project with determination, but without running yourself into the ground. There are however ways to achieve goals with long-lasting effects that don’t necessarily involve multitasking and working on six things simultaneously to save time. I’m sorry to say it, but it doesn’t always pay off and you end up feeling more frustrated and confused; a jack of all trades and master of none.

I’ve tried and tested numerous different ways of working. Trying to run on a regular basis, train for competitions, practise the piano in the way that I intend, increase my languages, write articles or music, take photographs, cook etc. the list goes on, whilst also trying to create a life-work balance and spend quality time with my husband. It’s a constant learning curve.

The thing I’m aware of through talking to people about their goals and struggles is that we’re all trying to do so much and still expect to have some free time to enjoy life. The question people pose time and time again is “well, when?” I would suggest starting right there…I want…I really want to …what is that? “But I can’t because I need to ….” Honestly, if you want to, you can. Obviously, commitments mean that you may not be able to do as much as others without those things, but twenty minutes a day of something is far better than nothing for weeks and then five hours of fruitless cramming. The crucial point, is not to make comparisons. The grass is not always greener, however green it may seem at the moment.

Try not to share your projects too much, the best way is to get on and find a few people who encourage you. It’s obvious that not everyone will feel your excitement. Action is the best demonstration and you don’t even need to do that. The main reason you are doing these things is for enjoyment and so if you aren’t enjoying it, stop and ask yourself why. Is it a temporary struggle: training to run those extra few miles or you’re exhausted and doing everything together?

Priorities are the key, what will your future self thank you for: working those extra seven hours at work or improving a language or going for a run that could actually energise you and make you more productive? Maybe half an hour less of house cleaning could mean the difference between playing a piece of music and feeling satisfied instead of frustrated and actually getting less done.

I’ve struggled regularly with getting the balance between doing a good job and going overboard and finding everything else suffers. There is a fine line between doing your best and pushing yourself beyond what is reasonably possible. It's important to meet certain basic needs, take a well-earned break once in a while, look after your health and give yourself the pat on the back that maybe doesn’t always arrive.

There are boundaries that you need to respect and that you need to encourage others to respect too. Quantity is not guaranteed quality. Often we do this to demonstrate something to others that actually takes us off course and distracts us from the real goal. If the goal is really as important to us as we make out, maybe we should spend more time focused on that goal instead of explaining what we are going to do, trying desperately to convince others why we are doing it and actually just get on with it. We need to plan and prepare for a project, but at the same time, there’s only so much planning that can be done without action. Being patient with yourself is the first step, most people don’t get it one hundred per cent right at the beginning and some of the best entrepreneurs etc. will tell you that it was trial and error and the willingness to listen to good advice that made them who they are today.

The people who thrive and achieve in the healthy sense of the word are often those who spend less time social networking and stuck to their smartphone and more time investing in relationships with people and taking time to enjoy the things they love. Life is to be enjoyed and why shouldn’t you thrive even in some of the toughest times? Moving numerous times between countries has not been a walk in the park, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. It’s taught me to listen to others, take on good advice and shrug off the non-constructive criticism and continue. Be realistic, but don’t allow others to silence the creative, talented person that you are. Pick yourself up and start to make each day count. You’ll be amazed at what will happen.