OPEN UP THE PERSPECTIVE

 

"We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are."​ Anaïs Nin

How many times have you taken a photograph in one way, only to realise that the angle taken by the person next to you seems to more effectively capture the essence of the panorama unfolding before you? Time and time again, you return and take the same photograph from your comfortable viewpoint and end up getting more or less the same result. When you eventually look back over all the collection of photographs you suddenly realise that they are practically all the same. None of them have actually achieved the atmosphere and angle you were hoping to obtain. So often, we go guns blazing with our black and white thinking. Could there not potentially be a splash of grey in our decidedly channelled vision of events? When faced with a situation or reaction from others that typically generates complacency, what would happen if we were to choose contemplation and a delay in our response rather than resorting to immediate, short-sighted and case-closed judgment?

It is very easy to perceive differences as potential threats. Unfortunately, for me, I have experienced this in numerous situations where my enthusiasm and desire to create original and good work has been misunderstood. My attempts to look at a troublesome issue from alternative perspectives have been, on various occasions, looked upon with suspicion and then taken to shreds, despite my intentions being very honest. My only desire was, and is, to help without pushing, offering my experience and openness to assist in increasing creativity and development. I have learnt that this type of reaction does not always mean that things are going down the wrong track, quite often the opposite is true. I back up, and let the waters settle. If my words and actions are only seen as threatening and invasive, I have learnt to leave things untouched. I will offer and be supportive, but my way is not forcing my views on others and dictating what they must do (at least I seriously work to avoid this type of approach). The problem to be overcome may be an ingrained repetitive series of actions that provides a security net, in which case I can advise, but if the other wishes to see things in a certain way, it is better to respect their decision and keep going on your route (maybe they will opt to consider that same point in the future). It could also be that the required actions that we have in mind are decisive, but not suitable for the actual situation developing. Sometimes, those involved are much more aware of the significant details than those looking in from the outside thinking that things are so frustratingly obvious, when they really are not.

The writer Murakami Haruki writes in his book 'The Career of a Writer', that, as a novelist, he seeks to reserve judgment straight away, in order for this work to take him in another direction and allow his writing to develop away from the onlooking frowning and somewhat perplexed face with black and white vision. How can we look at a person, situation, an event under a new lens when we carry around with us a range of baggage, and are maybe completely and blissfully unaware of our hoarding? It can be tempting to point the finger at others without being privy to the whole, faithful image of their reality. Our background, neighbourhood, families, who we spend our time with and so many more factors can unintentionally influence or affect our approach to the reality unfolding before us. Could we dismiss a person who is overweight as simply being lazy (thank goodness research and diffusion of information is shedding light on this and many other preconceived limited conceptions on life), an unemployed individual as lacking motivation and effort, a bored and seemingly hyper child in school as unruly, or a homeless person on the street with a sign asking for money and help as "faking it" and cheating the system?

I am taking notes for this article whilst sitting in the dentist's waiting room and looking out onto the road opposite. As I do, one car honks at another that is trying to turn onto the main road. The first clearly seems comfortable with the gap, but the other cannot see this from their perspective. It is not a dangerous manoeuvre but simply each driver has a different viewpoint.

I'm now in the main square of the local town surrounded by trees. My perspective is somewhat different. Judging is extremely simple and calls for no effort whatsoever, whereas trying to see things in a more universal way, takes patience, the willingness to admit that maybe we don't know everything about a person, situation or subject and the courage to be ready to learn something new.

In so many situations, how many arguments, problems and serious misunderstandings could have been avoided by opting to see things with different eyes or taking a moment to avoid making a hurried judgment. Before suffering and then adapting to such hardships in my own life as chronic illness, parental bereavement and prolonged unemployment, I could empathise but not completely relate to what people were going through in these types of situations, but now I see things in a different light. I can better understand certain behaviours and reactions after living with these things for years. However, I think something to bear in mind is that some people react in an aggressive way, some get upset, others get yet tougher and close up and push people away without ever explaining why. There is no set formula and it might be worth holding off when the reasons behind the reactions seem so apparently evident.

Life is more interesting when we can see the similarities, not the differences and definitely not only the negative traits of the people we know and meet. Maybe another way of looking at it is, when we are about to allocate a quick judgment in a black and white fashion, what makes us so certain we are right? Is it things that we have been brought up to accept, the way that those in our city or country react or something has been deeply engrained in us from our upbringing? Also, do we always act justly? How many times have others overlooked our out-of-character behaviour due to the situation we are facing? It is not always the case that there is necessarily a justified reason, but sometimes it is worth giving the benefit of the doubt and trying to see things from a new perspective that will ultimately lead to a much happier and more enriching life. As Mark Twain said "The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds".