THE UNDERSTATED BEAUTY OF LIVING

 

‘Enjoy the little things in life, because one day you will look back and realise they were the big things”. 
Robert Bault

As we enter the beginning of 2023 and maybe consider making some New Year’s resolutions, big goals or dynamic changes for the coming year, do we ever stop to think about the simple pleasures of life and the everyday occurrences that can have an important impact on the quality of our lives? Seeking to do different things and having new challenges is part of our growth, but when we move from project to project, chasing yet more satisfaction in experiences we can grow restless and dissatisfied with our real existence, and our life that is not like the social media images and videos we scroll through daily. Whether it is that refreshing walk along the seafront in the winter sun, hearing the waves crashing against the beach, or laughing until it hurts with a friend on the phone, or simply enjoying the home you have created, are just as important in the long term as travelling far and wide, clocking up more hours at the office and in the gym, and seeking to always do more daring, more impressively bold things.

The act of breathing the air as you walk along, watching a father going by on his bike with his young son in the child seat behind him, then looking up at the clear blue sky, and noticing two people enjoying a coffee on their balcony on a surprisingly sunny winter’s day, are all things to be marvelled at. 

Losing two friends last year, and losing contact with another for reasons unknown, were and continue to be a wake-up call to live in the present and to make a conscious effort to live deliberately and purposefully. Watching an episode of a TV series last night with my husband, I realised that I had missed the first part as I was busy messaging people and thinking about a few things I needed to do. We had to rewind back to the start and I was aware of how much I had missed. Doesn’t that go for life too? So busy zooming around, no time to chat, no time to meet, stressed out packing to go to this and that, shovelling down meals to get out the house for appointments and things we really don’t want, our own personal Groundhog Days.  

When we look back on these ‘urgencies and essentials’ that have fought for our time, how important were they really? Were they really worth dropping friends and family for, or could they have been avoided or organised better? Maybe our high standards have got the better of us and we have unwittingly bought into the idea that we should be busy being busy, as society seems to thrive on ‘busy is best’ and if you aren’t fashionably being ‘busy’ you somehow aren’t interesting or successful enough. Just as Denzel Washington said in a motivational speech ‘just because you’re doing a lot more, doesn’t mean you’re getting a lot more done’. Let us take the example of David and James, both fictional characters. David is always consumed with work and tasks from the morning to the evening, always more dissatisfied and stressed doing something, he rarely has time to see people who care about him and spends so much of his time telling people how busy he is; James is equally busy but prioritises relationships and people over things and projects, he is very productive but has fun at the same time and really savours living without getting too caught up in all the small issues. Which of them has got a balanced life and truly values what they have?

Have you ever asked yourself why the sudden increase in projects and goals? Are they ‘healthy’ things you are passionate about, or are you overcompensating for people or aspects of your life that are missing? It is an interesting exercise to try and pinpoint when you started considering these new goals and plans. Did they correspond with any particular situation or interaction with others? Being aware of our motives is a good guide to gage whether or not we are really doing things to help improve our lives or we are doing things to gain approval or recognition. Are we reacting out of jealousy, envy, greed or any other unhealthy emotion. This can stop us in our tracks. If the projects are mounting up but there continues to be an emptiness to be fixed, the only way to change course is to remain still, silent and take some breathing space to figure out what is going on behind the scenes. An honest reflection on what we really have and what we personally want can get us back on track and remove the rose-tinted glasses from what we think we need to be happy.

With the new pages of this year comes the chance to enjoy those goals and dreams that keep us moving forward in life, but let’s make space for the beauty around us, nature, walks in the woods or a bike ride by the sea with loved ones, curling up with a good book in our favourite chair or any of the things that make us smile. We can afford to slow it down enough to really enjoy taking those deep breaths, the wind in our hair and the sun warming our hearts as we turn to those we care about and share a knowing glance that for now, in this moment, it’s enough, all this is enough.